Sentô shôjo: Chi no tekkamen densetsu aka Mutant Girls Squad (Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura, Tak Sakaguchi, 2010)

Well, it's another demented manga with high school chicks, non-stop CGI action, tons of gore and splatter and humans turning into machines mutants.

Since these movies are in the league of their own and basically just compete with each other by the amount of insanity, I'll give it (undeserving really) high grade just because it has - now prepare yourself! - a chick with a chainsaw sticking up her ass.

Oh man, these crazy Japanese fucks...

7/10

Miami Blues (George Armitage, 1990)

Loved the book but hated this flick. To be honest, I probably hated it because the book is such a masterpiece and I had simply expected too much. I guess what pissed me off was that director (or screenwriter) actually thought that he could improve the material by adding some scenes (like - for fucks sake! - a dinner they all have together) and had at the same time omitted some really cool ones. Just leave this stuff alone asshole, it's so much above you!!!

I was very surprised to see lots of raving reviews about  Alec Baldwin's performance on the various message boards. For my money, he's the one who puts the last nail into the coffin by his totally over the top portrayal of a "charming psychopath". On the other hand, Jennifer Jason Leigh is very good (as she always is) and especially Fred Ward manages to pull a good job. Maybe not too surprisingly since he's also credited as an executive producer so we can speculate that he was personally involved and had liked his character. At first I didn't like "his" Hoke much, but somehow he had stayed in the back of my mind. I was a bit surprised to have his image in my head when I was reading next Hoke novel. So I'm giving this movie an extra point on his behalf altough it's still an abomination of Charles Willeford's classic...

3/10

Sweet and Lowdown (Woody Allen, 1999)

To be frank, I can't stand Woody Allen. I don't like his frustrations about him being a Jew, having an ongoing problem with women, his mother's complex etc etc. I know that some artists keep re-inviting themsleves and returning to the same themes but in his case this shit is so ridiculous that it stopped being funny sometime before I was even born.

But for every rule there's an exception that confirms it! When I talk to my friends about Woody Allen, most of them (after endless pointless arguing and argumentation) eventually agree with me (probably just to keep me of their back) but still they usually ask me the same question: "But, surely, at least you do like Zelig or Everything you always wanted to know about sex, don't you?!" And my answer is always the same: "Fuck that, the only Woody Allen movie for me is Sweet and Lowdown!"

To put it in one word, it is simply FUNNY! And what's there not be liked about a depression era period documentary(?) about a drunken, obnoxious, overly-talented (but not as much as Django Reinhardt!!!) jazz guitarist (part time pimp) who takes his dates to a dumpster to shoot rats(!) and exploits his deaf girlfriend? Great jokes and one of the Sean Penn's best performances ever! 

9/10

The Queen of Versailles (2012, Lauren Greenfield)

I was really intrigued by this movie when it had came out and wasn't even sure if this was supposed to be a mockumentary or a "proper" documentary. But somehow I always managed to miss it. And they did play it here in Dublin for quite some time! So I was pleasantly surprised when it was shown on BBC just a few weeks after it had finished its theatrical run.

Story is well known and bizarre and it obviously speaks to the audience about human stupidity, shallowness, megalomania, trivial and materialistic view of life etc etc etc. But I liked it foremost from its documentary film-making aspect. Director doesn't really choose any sides and just keeps filming what's in front of her camera. And what comes out from it is that you don't feel absolutely nothing for these assholes. No pity, no anger, no contempt, no nothing.

7/10

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Larry Charles, 2006)

I don't follow popular culture much but I did like Ali G a lot. Bruno's coverage of the nazi-skinhead gig, Vietnam Vet(erinarian) and Ali G's persuasion of cops to use dolphins instead of dogs to detect drugs (since everyone knows they are much smarter) are classics, in my book they are very close to be 21st century variations of Killing Joke or Ministry of silly walking.

But somehow I just wasn't interested enough to check out Borat/Bruno movies when they had came out some years ago. I suspected they would be either too mellow or overly offensive. You know - in the way big studios get cheap publicity by creating some sort of controversy (Scorsese/Gibson biblical crap etc...)

But still I was intrigued enough and couldn't resist when they were showing this on TV. And really liked it - funny, cool and offensive in an intelligent way. Probably shouldn't say this publicly, but antisemitic jokes are the best ones. Stuff with Borat and his manager throwing money at the cockroaches (=shape-shifted Jews) is simply hilarious and had left me speechless and with tears in my eyes. And if you're more into the good old dick jokes, you probably died laughing in a scene where Azamat jerks off on the picture of Borat's beloved Pamela.

Funny stuff, Mr. Cohen got it! I'm definitely checking out Bruno.

8/10

The Kids Are All Right (Lisa Cholodenko, 2010)

I rarely watch movies directed by women. There are some exceptions of course (Catherine Breillat) but generally I avoid them since most of them are too sentimental or trying to surpass their male colleagues in masculinity just to prove some point (Kathryn Bigelow). But I remembered reading few good reviews of this one when it had came out and decided to give it a try when they showed it on RTE.

Glad I did, it's not bad at all. I always like to see the fresh take on Teorema premise about a stranger coming into the seemingly perfectly ordered surrounding and then fucking things up big time. This one is not exactly Killer Joe but still very original, smart and well made. I preferred the first part which plays out as a comedy and serves for the plot thickening. Then it goes into melodrama family type mode, but it's still okay and focused. Maybe just loses itself a bit because it tries to cover too many individual stories at the same time. I think movie would be far better without that younger kid.

The best thing about it is of course that it doesn't try to preach. Gay marriages are simply just marriages and they are just as complicated as straight ones. And having around teenagers and good looking horny guys with mid-life crisis doesn't make them any easier either.

Second best thing is its casting. They are all good individually and click well together as a ensemble but watching Annette Bening and Julianne Moore was just a privilege and total joy. So fucking cool! They are simply amazing and they manage to have special kind of chemistry that also manifests in a fact they are not trying to steal a movie from each other. Hard to say if this is due to Lisa Cholodenko's direction or due to their professionalism. Anyways, once again - great job from the entire cast. Gives the movie "feel good" tone and I got the impression that they were really having a good time shooting it.

My only objection is the happy ending which could and should be more radical (or at least more realistic). Let us just remind ourselves of a quote from one of the Hal Hartley's early masterpieces Trust: "Family is like a loaded gun: Aim it in the wrong direction, somebody is going to get hurt."

8/10

The Keeper (Keoni Waxman, 2009)

Starts with a little stand-alone plot which just serves as an introduction of Seagal's character Roland. He's a SWAT member and not only that - "he's the inspiration of every guy who joined this elite team". A bit disappointing bad-ass induction statement (usually they get much more colorful) but we don't need to question his capabilities because there's a camera shot that scans his formidable collection of  awards and certifications. Usual stuff from martial arts to explosive handling...

It soon evolves into pretty formulaic "guy-wisiting-an-old-friend-in-troubles" type of shit. But it's done pretty well, this time story is totally straightforward and easy to follow. Which is welcomed because this was not always the case in his DTV career. Also location set in the Texas offers brighter tone to the movie comparing it to recent Eastern European bleak settings.

Action is more than decent although I would estimate it favors shootings over martial arts in a ratio of about 70% to 30%. Still there are some broken arms and Seagal is much more violent than usually. I did miss a final encounter between him and one of the main villains who's supposed to be a big time boxer. He's really an asshole (doing drugs, cheating and even selling-out his girlfriend) and I was looking forward to Steven kicking his boxing-ass with his martial arts techniques but for some reason it just doesn't happen. So I guess I need to correct myself a bit about this movie being too formulaic.

6/10